


Lost in the Echo

by jaimistoryteller



Series: Legends in the Multiverse [5]
Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Multi, Referenced/Implied Violence, Song Lyrics, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 08:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimistoryteller/pseuds/jaimistoryteller
Summary: Alec's thoughts over the years





	Lost in the Echo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Real Legend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7351723) by [Zephyrfox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zephyrfox/pseuds/Zephyrfox). 
  * Inspired by [Different Paths](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8576473) by [jaimistoryteller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimistoryteller/pseuds/jaimistoryteller). 



> So, this is a multiverse look at things from Alec's POV. While mostly connected to Different Paths, there are little hints of Real Legends
> 
> The song in the story is Linkin Parks [Lost in the Echo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co4YpHTqmfQ)

You were that foundation

He awoke in pain, fury and agony equal measures within his body as he dealt with the aftermath of Archangelsk. Where was James? Why was his Storm gone? Where is he? Why isn’t he with James? He’s fairly sure this isn’t MI6 medical ward.

Never gonna be another one, no

His Storm is his soulmate. According to the mark gracing his skin, the storm clouds that seemed to have shrunk but still remain. They’re still soulmates. Why isn’t James here? He can’t bear to look at his other side. The ruined flesh marred forever from the explosion. Maybe that’s why it’s not until months later that he discovers among the textured scarring the beginnings of a tree appear.

I followed, so taken

Slowly he healed, his body returning almost to the same sort of strength he had before the explosion. He pisses the doctor off regularly, not listening and pushing himself. He refuses to stay in Markov’s care any longer than he has to. His undercover work was paid for at a high price. No longer will he be able to pass unseen. The ruins of his skin have seen to that.

James was the loyal one, not him, yet he doesn’t understand why James hasn’t come to him. What has he done to anger his Storm?

So conditioned I could never let go

In the months and years to follow he had pushed himself deeper and deeper undercover. Rarely did he take anyone to bed, but when he did, they always left it with tales of how wonderful a lover he was. Years spent with his Storm, sharing companions or just with each other had definitely left an impression.

He even ended up with an assistant, a handsome man who reminds him of his James some days. Just small things that makes his chest ache as if he’s missing a part of himself. Pyotr’s straight however, and he finds that is probably a good thing, it allows them to build a friendship, even as he is the boss and Bogdan the employee.

Through it all, even after he establishes contact with his handler, he still doesn’t know why James seems so distant. Why he hasn’t responded to any of the many messages that should have been passed along to him.

Then sorrow, then sickness

Then the letter he had always dreaded came to him. James was dead. Body not recovered, gone forever. He spent the following week drunk before throwing himself into his role as Janus. They cost him his soulmate, someone would pay, and pay dearly.

It was during the building up of his network, as he made a name for himself and branched away from the rat-face that he had met Dayesi. She was a beautiful woman – deadly and elegant. They came to an arrangement. One that worked well for both of them.

Not long after he had been ‘given’ a beautiful woman, a doctor in training, one betrayed by those she knows. He offers her a home, a safe haven, even offers to send her to London to finish her medical degree. She accepts and Lidiya is added to the group of people he knows. Slowly he is building a support group of people he trusts.

Still he plotted his revenge. They would pay for killing his James. For taking his soulmate away from him.

Then the shock when you flip it on me

When Six sent James, the man he had been told was dead to kill him during the GoldenEye fiasco, his world had fallen away. His soulmate, his Storm had betrayed him? Why? He tried so hard to stop it. To end the madness. To speak with the man he had loved and lost, but it was ignored. Forcing him into a position with his back against the wall. There was no other choice.

So hallow, so vicious

So they fought. Verbally, physically, sharp words and painful memories. They tried to kill each other. To destroy each other. Get revenge for the betrayal. Somehow James had turned from loving him to hating him, and in that instance, when Blue Storm was ignored, his love turned to rage. He would do this and die. No matter how it ends.

So afraid I couldn’t let myself see

When he woke up in pain, the second time in his life that he nearly died at James’ hand, it made him wonder if the first time was intentional or if had been truly an accident. Only there was something different. He wasn’t in a medical ward, it wasn’t a guard or a nurse that watched over him, it was a boy.

A teenager with vibrant eyes and a sassy mouth. Whose touch was butterfly soft, a whisper against his aching skin, a promise he couldn’t understand. Whose very presence was soothing and lulling, filling a different ache he hadn’t realized he had but didn’t understand.

That I could never be held

He wanted so badly to stay distant, aloof. He didn’t want to connect with this teen –Jon. The person who stays calm with him no matter how he lashes out. Too understanding, too compassionate.

He didn’t understand how he could be touch starved yet he was. He didn’t understand why Jon was helping him, healing him, yet he was. There was so much he couldn’t deal with. Didn’t know how to understand. Didn’t want to understand.

Back up, no, I’ll hold myself

He was determined not to get attached, not to care. He didn’t want to fall into the lure that seemed to call him. The need and passion, the desire to belong, to have a home. There was just too much and he didn’t have enough answers to understand. Something he has never been good with. He hates not understanding.

He craves Jon’s touch as much as he hates it. Conflicted for wanting the very thing offered to him freely.

Check my rep, yep you know my rail

Jon surprised him though. Refused to bow, refused to cower, got in his face with the sort of quiet fury that he never imagined. Despite knowing far too much, understanding things in ways the teenager never should, Jon hadn't backed down. That just made him want the younger man more. That impossible hope, the unlikely dream, a fantasy he should reject but finds he can’t.

Forget the rest let them know my hell

He was shocked when he learned that the teenager understood his pain, it was reflected in amber eyes that hid it as easily as it showed.  He wanted nothing more than to free Jon from that pain, that hell. Someone so compassionate shouldn’t understand. Yet he does, another bind tying them together.

Damn, I’m back yep, my soul ain’t sell

It was that very compassion and passion, the quiet fury that radiates from the younger man and is hidden all in one that gives him a reason to fight. To live. To survive. He refuses to give up. Not when he now has a goal. That goal might be amoral. Wrong. But it’s not going to stop him. He’ll survive for Jon if nothing else.

He wants the hacker as he never wanted anything else in his life, not even his Storm.

Kept respect up the vets stay their

Of course his trio comes for him. Pyotr and Lidiya first and foremost, surprising him when Jon goes passive aggressive, most of it directed not at Lydia but Pyotr. He’s sure the teen would physically harm his second if given even the slightest provocation. It's unexpected, enthralling. It makes him want Jon more.

Let the rest be to tales they tell

He desires the younger man in a way he doesn’t understand. It isn’t physical. It’s something deeper . Something unexpected and powerful. He’ll do whatever he must to keep Jon. Even if it requires changing from Janus to something new. Maybe it’s time. He failed as Alec Trevelyan – spy. He’s failed as Aleksei Sokolov – Janus. Perhaps he needs something else. To be someone else.

Let Alec and Aleksi become nothing more than legends, histories, tales to be told.

That I was there saying

 Minutes and hours, days and weeks, time blurred together as he slowly worked towards his goal. He’d have Jon, no matter the price, it was just a matter of learning what that price was. But there was always a pain, an aching and longing, that missing piece.

His Storm.

And these promises broken

They were soulmates. Connected in a way that defies logic. Yet the promise of the soulmate was shattered the moment that James tried to kill him. That instance between sky and ground, the perfect blue light that he saw before his world went dark.

Deep, feeble

His emotions are more now than they have ever been. Deeper and stronger, powerful and demanding. He needs this, Jon, a connection with a person whose eyes reflect the pain that he wishes they didn’t understand. It’s more than he can take. The need to protect and cherish, to curl himself around the smaller body and allow no one and nothing to harm Jon. A compulsion he doesn’t understand but embraces.

Each word gets lost in the echo

Then the truth came out. The why. The sucker punch that made his entire world shift focus. The mark of a rowan. The very thing lost in the echoes of scars, the knowledge of his second soulmate. The person who completes him in ways that he never expected.

Jon.

The impossible made fact. Pain and sorrow, loss and regret, determination and joy. Everything in his life that has ever meant something and nothing. The choice he’s been making since the day that he opened his eyes to honeyed amber and stormy gray rolled into one serious young man whose compassion eclipsed his anger.

So one last lie I can see through

There is terror in that knowledge. The knowledge of James, of Jon, of soulmates. He doesn’t know how to cope but he realizes that there is one thing that he must do. That there is a truth in the lie, and truth in actions. A choice to be made. Only one possible outcome or desire.

This time I finally let you

As much as it hurts, he realizes that the lie has to be shattered. The past accepted so he can move on. Perhaps he isn’t Alec or Aleksei but some combination of the two. Just as Jon is also Ivan and Isha, the determined hacker with a vicious streak but a willingness to care, to love.

Love.

Go, go, go

It hurts so much, but he lets go. Makes his choice. If one even wants to call it that. It’s a choice made the moment he woke up to a gentle touch and reassuring presence. When he decided to live rather than die. That he wants Jon in a way he can’t explain and doesn’t understand.

He says goodbye. Not to his Rowan but to his Storm. He’ll let go of the past, to have a future.

Test my will, test my heart

He throws himself into his new life. He’s Alec, and yet he’s not the same one who left London years before. He’s outgrown and changed too much to be that person. He still has the instincts of a spy, the knowledge of a bratva leader, but his focus is elsewhere.

He rebuilds his life, no longer alone but with the man who brought him back to life. His soulmate with the quiet acceptance and easy understanding. The person who he hates to see hurt more than anyone else in the world. He’ll burn the world down if that’s what it takes to protect Jon.

Let me tell you how the odds gonna stack up

It’s not easy. Adapting to his new life. But he refuses to do anything else. Sometimes, in the quiet moments alone a memory rushes through him. An ache, a longing, a wish for the impossible that he knows he has to say goodbye to. It’s the hardest thing in his life to do, but worth it. So very worth it.

Y’all go hard, I’ll go smart

Then comes the attack, the outsider trying to kill him, who threatens his Rowan. The quiet fury turned to pure rage as a knife goes sailing through the air. The deadliness of the hacker’s aim. The danger to the threat.

Only Jon’s not worried about himself. The hacker is worried about him. His safety, his recovery, his life.

Jon doesn’t even think twice before disabling the vehicle, and he’s sure if he hadn’t moved in for an attack, the younger man would have, with the sort of accuracy which still would have left their attackers dead.

It’s just another reason for him to love Jon.

Love.

How’s it working out for y’all in the back, huh?

Of course he calls his trio, and arrangements are made to deal with the ones in charge of the attack. The four dead are nothing more than pawns, but they were useful to him, if not to others. They told him who to hunt and where to hunt them. Who would pay for daring to threaten his Rowan.

I’ve seen that frustration

He’s surprised when Iov owns up to his mistake. Even more surprised when the idiot willingly submits to punishment. Despite the pain he hands out, there is still an itch to cause more damage. A frustration, a need, a desire to make sure no one else will ever make this mistake again.

Only it’s soothed away by gentle hands and softly spoken words, allowed to fade into the background.

Big cross, they're lost but don't know

Of course Jon reacted with compassion. He marvels at that, even as he doesn’t understand. How the hell they can be soulmates when they are so very different, he sometimes wonders. Then he remembers the quick action with the knife, the vindictive way the hacker had destroyed that man who had led to the death of his tenants.

Perhaps they aren’t as different as he thought.

And I've come back unshaken

He doesn’t like to admit to the time lapses. They’re always short, there isn’t nothing ever negatively done during them. So far only Dayesi has noticed the time losses. According to her, during them he is someone else, and yet he is still himself. She said it was uncanny, and if not for a spy’s attention to detail, she might have missed.

Actually, Jon might have noticed that one just after Christmas, he’s even better at catching details than they are. Though the hacker's focus can be absolute, with nothing interfering no matter how good it otherwise is.

Still, he’s always come back to himself. Hopefully that never changes.

Let down, I've lived and let go

Something he has noticed is the lapse always results in him feeling James loss more keenly than he does the rest of the time. He longs for his first soulmate so much it leaves his entire body aching. On those days Jon seems to know he just needs affection but not words. How he doesn’t know, there is a long list of things that he doesn’t get that Jon does.

So you can let it be known

With James the relationship was kept quiet, both among friends and among coworkers. Part of that was due of their jobs, partly because they never actually discussed their relationship. They just were. Only it didn’t work for them. Otherwise James wouldn’t have ignored the safe word. Wouldn’t have tried killing him. Wouldn’t have betrayed the bond between them.

With Jon on the other hand, there is nothing hidden. They are open with each other and others. They talk. Mostly because his Rowan forces the issue. Firmly. It’s amusing exactly how determined Jon can be when the hacker sets his mind to it.

He finds there is a freedom in the fact they aren’t hiding it. It’s nothing he would have expected.

I don't hold back, I hold my own

He rejoices in the connection. The gentle teasing. The playfulness. The quiet moments. Sleeping side by side, even though he doesn’t understand why Jon is willing to take that risk. It is a risk. That’s been proven on several of occasions.

He does everything he can to make Jon happy. It’s his hope that if he can make his Rowan happy, maybe he’d be able to be happy himself.

I can't be mad, I can't be calm

Then came the realization that he couldn’t get hard. He damn near panics, so much that he finds himself losing time. It’s the first time he has done it while awake. That he’s done it while Jon is with him. He knows his soulmate must have noticed. The teen notices everything it sometimes feels like.

Yet Jon doesn’t say anything. Instead the hacker gives him quiet support. Soft words and gentle touches. A way to ground himself back into his own mind and body. An awareness of affection, of support, of love.

Then there’s concern. Jon doesn’t get hard. It’s difficult for him to comprehend, yet it worries his Rowan. There is fear he would reject the hacker for it, it’s there in the teen’s voice. It is actually comforting, though he definitely feels odd about the fact Jon doesn’t get hard often. It’s something to think about later.

I can't sing flat, it ain't my tone

House hunting is probably the most enlightening thing he has ever done. It’s the first time he’s intentionally tried to find a house with someone else. Jon is quiet, he doesn’t say a lot, but his eyes speak for him.

The houses he hates. The ones he doesn’t care about. The features he likes. The things he doesn’t. None of which is said with words, for all his Rowan uses them the rest of the time.

The house he doesn’t really like is the one Jon loves. That’s the one they buy. If only so he can see that startled smile, the small one he rarely gets, the shocked one that speaks of loneliness and sorrow being pushed aside.

It’s worth it.  

I can't fall back, I came too far

Years pass, spent in Russia, among friends and family. A nice life. Progress and joy. Little changes to the house to improve the security, to the point where Dayesi and him can’t actually break in. Which is saying something when one considers the fact they are both spies.

Then another episode happens, worse than any he has had before. One moment he’s himself, the next thing he knows it’s been three months. He’s terrified of what he did to his soulmate, the sort of harm he caused while he wasn’t himself.

Jon sooths it away. Welcomes him back. Does something he never expected, shares all the details of what happened while he wasn’t. It was him. But not him. A different him. There is something in the hacker’s tone, a promise of love, of reassurance, of safety.

Part of him wants to leave, to get away to protect his Rowan, but he can’t. He couldn’t live without Jon even if he tried. 

Hold myself up and love my scars

When things finally change from platonic to not, he’s terrified he fucked up. Jon is not a sexual creature. Never has been. Yet that’s exactly where things went. He’s self conscious about his scars. The marks that cover his body but never seem to bother his Rowan. He has to accept his scars, the same way he accepts Jon, with an understanding things change over time but they are changing together.

Let the bells ring wherever they are

The first time he discovers that his Rowan is running missions for James, getting him out of situations that should end with his Storm being dead, he panics. What if Jon would prefer his Storm to him? All of the insecurities come rushing back. Yet his Rowan never leaves.

Perhaps it’s time to let go of those fears.  

'Cause I was there saying

He tells Jon often that he loves him. Not always those words. Yet always that meaning.  

He had loved James but it’s a different sort of love than the one he has for Jon. His Rowan has been the most stable person in his life. There is affection, love, compassion, acceptance. Everything he has always wanted and never had. Not the way it is now.  

He’ll never give it up willingly. He’ll make sure Jon always knows.

 And these promises broken

They move to France and then the States, leaving both after the safety of their homes are broken. It’s a promise that both of them require to feel content.

It sends him into another episode, this time when he get’s back Jon tells him of the difficulties he had keeping him from vanishing. Apparently he was an American FBI agent this time, one who was unsettled by the hackers. Aither helped Jon keep him from pulling a vanishing act. It’s rather terrifying what those two can do when they team up.

He feels like he has broken his promise to Jon, though his Rowan doesn’t see it that way.

Deep, feeble

Moving to London is nerve wracking in ways he never expected. The quiet joy of Jon being in his home however strike him deep within. Forces him to take stock of the silent edge that has always been there. Makes him edgy because of his Storm.

What if he was to run into James? How would he react? Yet it’s worth it for that smile that plays at the edge of Jon’s lips.

Each word gets lost in the echo

For years they live in the house that once belonged to Jon’s parents but now belongs to him. In the early months he has several instances of lost time. Of words and feelings and moments and days being lost in an echo within his mind. It feels like he’s breaking apart, going insane. Yet Jon is always there, an anchor in the storm. The reassuring presence and a promise.

He can’t stop the moments or the echoes, but he at least knows that the echoes are nothing but temporary.

 So one last lie I can see through

His last episode leaves him shaken. It is the first time he can remember the entire thing, from both ends. Both his memories of not-him and his memories of other-him. It’s unsettling. Then Jon tells him what happened. Quinn had figured it out based on a drug being made in the States. One that allows people to become completely new legends, without the confusion of trying to keep to lives in order. The chemist had designed a counter agent to it. Though it’s still a trial drug, but it should keep him from having another moment.

He feels like he has lost James all over again. In that other world he was with them, Jon and James. Though Jon’s name was something else. There was no soulmarks and triads where the oddity but it felt almost like home.

If not for the fact he knew it wasn’t real, but a lie, an illusion.  

This time I finally let you

The unfortunate part of remembering the last time he was not there is the fact it feels like his loss of James has happened all over again. It’s so damned hard to let him go but he has to. He determined that years ago. If he wanted things to work with Jon, he had to accept the loss of his Storm.  

It hurts to the point he can’t find the words to express it. Jon doesn’t need them though. As always, his hacker seems to know what’s going on before he does and offers him the same quiet support he always does.

 Go, go, go

Time keeps flying by. Eventually he gets comfortable in the city that was once his home with James and now his home with Jon.

They spend equal time in Russia as they do here. Occasionally they visit the States and stay with Aither. Very rarely do they go elsewhere for long periods of time. Every time they do, Jon learns the language with the same skill as someone born to it. It’s amazing to watch and listen to.

Particularly when his Rowan lights into someone with the soft scathing temper that is mostly hidden except for when the hacker is furious.

No, you can tell 'em all now

His team, the small group he had depended on before meeting Jon, after James had first abandoned him in Russia find it completely amusing and even adorable the way they act together. Lidiya tends to make these happy little sighs which he still hasn’t figured out. He’d almost think it was objectifying if not for the fact he knows she’s exceedingly pleased with the fact he is happy.

Jon’s crew, the people the hacker has saved or helped or been there for in some small way, those people that his Rowan thinks wouldn’t notice if he was gone, when in truth they would lead the manhunt to find him, are overjoyed to see them together.

Both sides are happy they have found someone and somewhere they belong. They understand, without the details of why, that it was not an easy feat.

Sometimes he wants to tell James, rub it in his Storm’s face that he wasn’t as unwanted as he thought.

I don't back up, I don't back down

The day Jon and Aither break the code they have been working on for years, he doesn’t know what to think. James didn’t abandon him originally. They were set up. Which means James probably thought he was the traitor and the phrase a trap. It leaves him breathless and lost.

It rip opens old wounds and reminds him how thankful he is that Jon insists they communicate clearly. That’s the day he decides his Rowan is right, he needs to confront his Storm at least one more time. If only to bring closure.

I don't fold up, and I don't bow

So they start the planning for Jon to meet James. He will take his nickname, his online handle, and become it in fact. Q, the Quartermaster of MI6. It’s a skill set that he will excel at after years of running the network and helping him with the company. They’re not going to know what hit them.

After all, Jon is a lot like him, the hacker doesn’t back down and doesn’t bow.

I don't roll over, don't know how

The first time he sees James since that fateful day twelve years previous when his Storm tried to kill him is in Jon’s small gallery in the attic.

Years worth of feelings rush to the surface. All of those things he thought he had put to rest. The longing and pain and fury. He wants to shake James and demand an answer why. He wants to wrap himself around James and never let go. He wants everything he thought was lost. All of those little moments he missed and continues to wish for.

He does none of that however, as he murmurs, “Hello James,” like an echo of their past.

He didn’t back down then, he won’t back down now.

I don't care where the enemies are

Turbulent is the best word to describe what happens when James and Jon are in the same room. The air crackles with pent up energy. His Rowan is far more understanding than he ever will be. He  knows that they have issues and enemies to deal with. Although Jon and Aither dealt with the worst one in the way that was damn near spy like for the pair. Not that it changed the results.

He’s sure they have other enemies. It’s a fact of life for James and him. A reminder of the differences between spies and hackers. At least that pair with their massive networks spanning four continents.

Can't be stopped, all I know go hard!

It’s wonderful to reconnect with his Storm. Despite the fact he wants to be leary he can’t. He falls hard for this new James, the one who is shorter and blonde. Just as reckless and daring as ever. It’s wonderful. Almost like a dream come true if he believed in those.

Won't forget how I got this far

He knows beyond a reason of a doubt the only reason he is alive and even close to happy is his Rowan. The hacker who challenged and delighted him from the first minute he was awake. The hazel eyed menace he wouldn’t trade for anything. The man he’d burn the world down just to see smile, to protect, to avenge.

Everything he currently is and has he owes to his Rowan, for never giving up even when he had.

And every time, saying

He doesn’t quite understand how his soulmates can get along on the coms, work together like a well trained team, but the moment they are face to face it’s like there is a territorial battle going on. One that James is not equipped to win because he thinks like a spy and not a hacker. He’s almost at his wits end about what to do with the pair.

Jon, rarely confrontational, easy going and willing to give second chances without question, can’t seem to get along with James in person. Has even come close on several occasions to planting one of the very sharp throwing knives he always carries in their soulmate.

And these promises broken

He torn, broken and unsure.

He wants this to work like a need he can’t describe. He needs to this to work like a longing he can’t subvert. His Rowan and Storm, the most important people in his life. The two people he has tried to keep every promise to and feels as if he is failing for both. They are at odds and he doesn’t know how to help them.

How to keep his promises if he doesn’t know what to do.

Deep, feeble

The solution is easier than he expected. Just ask for help. Something he hates to do with an utter passion but something he’s gotten better at over the years. He calls Jon’s longest friend and adoptive sister to ask the hacker what she’d suggest. Aither is, after all, very much like Jon. She understands his Rowan’s motivation so much better than he does.

They figure out a plan to deal with the situation. One that doesn’t involve her stabbing James again. Though it’s still on her agenda if things aren’t repaired sooner than later. Those she cares for are protected by any means necessary, something they have always agreed on. It surprises him though to realize that she cares for him as well. He’s never realized she considers them friends and not just people with a common goal as he alway assumed.

A plan is put into action, one he hopes will solve the issues brewing between them. It has to solve the issues. It would break him to walk away from James but he would if that’s what it took to take care of Jon. As much as he loves his Storm, he loves his Rowan more. The person who has never betrayed him or broke him, never tried to kill him. The reason he lived and didn’t try to kill himself.

Each word gets lost in the echo

He thinks it’s going good. That their triad is finally working together and starting to heal. Then something goes wrong and Jon retreats, vanishing to Q-Branch for days unending. James won’t speak to him. He’s to the point of considering walking in there just to get his soulmate back and damn the consequences. He’s got complete faith that Jon can get him out and they can vanish faster than most people can even blink.

He’s surprised when Aither calls him, demanding answers he doesn’t have before snarling that she’ll deal with the situation.

By deal with the situation he discovers it’s fly here in one of the jets, walk into MI6 Q-Branch to collect Jon and beat the living fuck out of everyone who get’s in her way. He’s reminded why they work so well together, because if the situation was reversed, Jon would do the same for her.

It reminds him of an echo in the past, of the time he fetched his Rowan after the kidnapping or the time Aither fetched her pet, as she refers to her other best friend after he was kidnapped.

So one last lie I can see through

In all their years together, Jon has made it a point not to lie whenever possible. He may refuse to answer or say he can’t answer at this time. But he doesn’t lie. James can’t make that claim, no matter how much he wants to. When he asks what happened, it’s almost instinctive that his Storm tries to deflect and lie by omission.

It hurts, realizing that his Storm lied, even by accident.

This time I finally let you

As much as it would hurt, he would walk away in a heartbeat if it would make Jon happy. They could return to Russia or anywhere else in the world his Rowan wants to go. They don’t have to stay here. Hell, they could stay here but have the chemist make something so James forgets he’s alive.

Jon might not like drugs but Aither and him have no issues using them to accomplish a goal. That goal being Jon’s mental health and well being.

Go, go, go

He loves James. Has loved him for years. Even when he didn’t want to. When he ignored it and acted like it wasn’t there. No matter how much it hurts, he’d let James go if that’s what it took to make his Rowan smile again without any signs of stress.

He made his choice thirteen years ago, that hasn’t changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Publishing schedule, I will try & update one or two stories on Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
> 
> Tumblr about my writing [JaimiStoryTeller](http://jaimistoryteller.tumblr.com/money) and recently got a twitter to post about drawing & writing @jaimist0
> 
> I love reviews, comments, and any other sort of communication, feel free to stop in to say hi


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